I have another APB to issue, albeit a bit late: 

It has come to my attention that my buddy’s orange Scion XD had its rear window smashed-out last week.  It happened sometime overnight between Tuesday 10/28 and Wednesday 10/29, right here in Scumcook Village.  It appears that nothing was stolen from the vehicle, but a major nuisance nonetheless. 

So, I am asking any ‘Straight out of Pembronx” readers who may have seen anything suspicious around that time last week to come forward with any info which may prove helpful.  The vandalism occurred downtown in the ‘bronx, specifically in the area of Front and Main Streets near the Emerson Mills Condominium building.

If anyone is able to offer information leading to the arrest of the criminal/s responsible, I will personally donate $25 to a charitable cause of that person’s choosing.  This will allow any tipsters to remain anonymous if they desire.

It is up to us, the citizens of Pembroke and Allenstown, to keep our community safe and free of vandalism.  These acts of vandalism, theft and drug dealing are further depressing our collective property values, shaking our community’s sense of security, and challenging our patience.  Please contact the Pembroke or Allenstown Police immediately upon witnessing any form of suspicious activity.  Seriously, do it for the greater good.

And if any would-be thieves are reading this, be afraid, very afraid – the next vehicle you break into may be surveilled by a nightvision camera.  Or maybe even by a few armed, angry dudes.  And I promise you that we won’t call the cops…