Salem Observer : Salem, military

Military moms offer support while children serve

Salem Editor — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 18:50:00 GMT

They’re four Salem area women who share a common bond – mothers of men serving their country in military uniform.

And twice a month, over coffee and soda, they exchange stories and share their fears, giving each other moral support and, at times, a shoulder to cry on.

They call themselves “military moms.”

“We bounce ideas or vent or share stories,” said Lisa Desrosiers of Windham, whose son, Marine Lance Cpl. Edmund Vandecasteele, 20, is serving in Okinawa, Japan. “We’re proud moms. Every two weeks we have proud stories to tell. We’re just here for each other.”

The women began meeting regularly in November, and they find their talks to be therapeutic.

Their other friends are supportive but don’t understand what they are going through. In this group, the women talk with fellow moms who know what it’s like to not hear from a son for weeks, not see him for months, miss him during the holidays and worry about his safety.

“We’re all in the same boat,” said Pam Rochon Russell, whose son, Thomas, 20, is serving in Afghanistan.

And they’ve tapped into each other’s experiences and knowledge to get answers to their questions: What will boot camp be like for him? Will he be able to call home? How do I get a birthday cake to him? How long does it take to ship his Christmas presents? Can he get a military discount on his flight when he comes home for leave?

“I really had no one to talk to, to ask questions, to ask advice,” said Desrosiers. “And it’s just nice that there are other moms in the same situation.”

The women, whose sons are Salem High School graduates, share photos, update each other on their boys’ lives and teach each other about what they’ve learned about the military through their experiences.

“There’s so much to bounce off each other and learn,” said Russell, who hasn’t seen her son in 11 months.

The mood at their meetings is generally upbeat, but the women do share their worries for their sons’ safety. Russell’s son is doing dangerous work – he’s a combat engineer blowing up mountainsides to build roads and leading convoys in a one-man Husky to clear roads of improvised explosive devices.

“There are times you talk about the fears,” said Russell. “My son’s blowing up the side of a mountain or the snipers or the suicide bomber that killed someone in his group. That can bring the emotion out, and with these girls, that’s OK.”

“This is the place to let it out,” added Sandy Bohne.

Bohne would know. One of her sons, Joseph, was injured in June 2006, when a roadside bomb blew up near the Humvee he was riding in while on patrol in Iraq. The explosion claimed the life of a fellow soldier.

“We can relate to the same fears,” said Bohne, whose son, James, 17, is in the Marine’s delayed entry program. “Everyone can sympathize when you have a child that is deployed or injured or whatever happens but to actually have someone – It’s just a completely different feeling of not having a child with you. You don’t know until you’ve gone through it.”

For Lucille Penny, her situation is a bit different. Unlike the other mothers, whose sons are single, her son is married and has children.

While Staff Sgt. Mark Penny, 35, of the New Hampshire Army National Guard is serving in the military police over in Baghdad, his wife, Tracie, and their two children, Spenser, 7, and Harlee, 2, are living in Raymond. A third child is due in a few days.

Spenser wants Lucille to promise that his daddy will come home – something she can’t do.

“It’s been rough but you get through it day by day,” she said.

To date, the women have kept their group small but now they’re ready to expand. They welcome others to join their conversations.

“We just want to get the message out,” said Desrosiers, “that if anyone needs to talk, we’re here.”

Town manager terms set – Contract includes $118,000 salary, probationary period for severance package

Salem Editor — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 17:59:00 GMT

BY MATT HERSH

Salem selectmen have announced the details of their contract with new town manager Jonathan Sistare, who is set to begin work in October.

After months of candidate searching and negotiations with Sistare, who is currently in Iraq with the U.S.
Army Reserve, selectmen have set his salary at $118,000 for the first of three years. He will be eligible for a raise in the successive years.

Under the terms of the contract, Sistare will be eligible to receive a six-month severance package should he leave after one year of service. If he is dismissed prior to a year of service, he will receive a 30-day severance package, according to current Town Manager Henry LaBranche.

He will also receive a $3,000-per-year car allowance. He has chosen to opt out of the town’s health insurance program.

“We’re very happy with the contract,” said Selectman Patrick Hargreaves. “We’ve all scrutinized it and it is better than (LaBranche’s) contract.”

Though members of the board said they were looking forward to bringing Sistare into Salem, there were a series of allegations about his level of professionalism and appropriateness of conduct during his prior work as town manager in Jaffrey.

The allegations were made largely by former Jaffrey police chief Martin Dunn, who said Sistare harassed him, sent racist e-mails to town staff, and plotted to have him removed from his position.

The series of allegations resulted in Dunn suing the town of Jaffrey on claims of harassment. The suit was settled and Dunn was awarded $100,000, in workman’s compensation and personal injury payments.

Neither the town of Jaffrey nor Dunn admitted to any wrongdoing.

In July, after Salem selectmen said they had selected Sistare from a pool of about 41 applicants, public documents surfaced that showed Sistare making comments about Dunn and forwarding a joke that made remarks about Jews, Muslims, gays and vegetarians.

None of the members of the Board of Selectmen have commented publicly on Sistare’s past, and the minutes of a meeting where they discussed the contract and possibly more about Sistare are still sealed.

Selectman Elizabeth Roth said the minutes will likely be unsealed after Sistare signs the contract.

Despite the allegations, Salem selectmen said they stood by their choice. The terms of the contract are unrelated to the e-mails, which most selectmen said they have read.

Past town manager contracts have not included the probationary period that Sistare will be subject to before being eligible for full severance pay, but officials said this is not a result of Sistare’s past.

“Given that we’ve had so many town managers over the past years, we put it in,” said Selectman Michael Lyons. “We’re tired of buying them out.”

Prior to LaBranche taking over the position in 2004, the town when through a series of town managers who didn’t last long in the position, Lyons said. This new probationary period is a cautionary measure, he said.

Sistare is set to begin work on Oct. 1 and continue until September 2010. LaBranche will stay on as an adviser to Sistare until December.

Hometown salute – Soldier headed for Afghanistan gets sendoff from kids

Salem Editor — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 14:27:00 GMT

BY MATT HERSH

Pvt. Thomas Russell had a message to give to the children at the Palmer School.

“Remember to do the Pledge of Allegiance,” he said. “And study, study, study.”

Russell, 19, whose Army unit is about to be sent to Afghanistan, stopped by the school on Monday, Feb. 12, to meet the children, raise their flag and talk about life in the armed forces.

Upon his arrival, Russell was surrounded by the children, who were fascinated by his Army fatigues, boots and hat.

After a quick introduction, the kids asked in unison if he would help them raise the flag, following him outside.

Crowded in a circle around the flagpole, the group received an impromptu lesson on flag etiquette before hoisting it atop the pole.

Though later most of the children said raising the flag was their favorite part of the visit, they also enjoyed talking to Russell.

Cassie Drago, 5, was more interested in asking Russell about caring for bee stings than about Army insights, but several other children shyly asked questions about where Russell trained, and why he joined the Army.

“There’s nothing better than serving my country and protecting you guys,” he told the group.

Following a demonstration of proper saluting techniques, Russell was given an oversized Valentine’s Day card covered in red, glittery hearts and signed by each child.

“We wanted to thank him for protecting the flag,” said 6-year-old Nicholas Mulry, who has an interest in the military because his uncle is a Green Beret.

For Russell, a life-long Salem resident who wanted to join the Army since he was 12 years old, the visit was part of a quick 10-day trip home from Fort Riley in Kansas, where he has been training for several months.

When he returns to Kansas, his battalion of about 700 soldiers will be leaving for Afghanistan sometime in the next two months, he said.

This will be Russell’s first trip overseas, but he said he’s more eager than nervous.

“I wish I left a month ago,” he said. “If I’m going over there to make others’ lives better, then it’s all worth it.”

While in Afghanistan, Russell will be working on making sure roads near his base are free of bombs and other threats, he said.

Though he’s been busy visiting relatives and friends, Russell said he was happy to meet the children.

“I think it’s great,” he said. “It gives them a reason to salute, and it lets them know they’re safe.”

The visit also fit well with the school’s daily patriotic lessons, according to director Lorraine Desharnais.

The children perform the Pledge of Allegiance every day, and occasionally are taught about the different branches of the armed forces, she said.

Since Russell’s mother, Pam, is involved with the school, Desharnais said the visit was easy to set up and well-timed.

“It’s so important that they have an awareness of the flag,” she said. “As little as they are, they should know these values, and they will stay with them for the rest of their lives.”