By Pam Chaplowe-Ruth

The Salem Santa Fund provides more than just material delights of the holiday. The directors of this much-lauded program offer emotional strength and patient understanding to those in the community who suffer from grievous loss.

At this time of year everything is turbo charged – bright colors and excited children’s voices mingle with the scent of evergreen and baked goods. Sensory overload is part of the experience that personifies the month of December.

However, a face washed in sadness can abruptly shift the scenery.

Statistics verify that many grieve at this time of year. Those with children also feel the weight of providing their young ones with happy childhood memories while their own emotions feel unbearable. Such is the experience of Tina, a local resident who suddenly lost her husband a year ago, making her a widow with two young children to raise.

Initially their loss was buffered by support from friends and family.

“I had lots of help then, but a year later, it’s all disappeared,” Tina said, her voice catching as she spoke.

“People forget or expect us to have moved on. The Santa Fund is the only chance I have to give my children anything for Christmas at all,” Tina said.

Folks don’t mean to be unsupportive. Life moves on and other moments of great celebration and tragedy occur. Mourning, however, is an individual process that can’t be hurried or directed. Tina understands that others are ready for her to move on. She also understands through counseling that she must allow herself to grieve as necessary while still playing the maternal role in providing happy seasonal memories for her children.

“I was very close to my husband,” she said. “After his death I was in a fog, just going through the motions.”

Tina, who had a solid career in dance instruction until the household dynamic changed, has gone from a comfortable lifestyle to one where she worries about providing the basic necessities for her family. She took a much lower-paying job during the day to be home when her children return from school. In the past, her husband’s schedule allowed her to teach at night and they comfortably shared parenting duties.

As many people do when they are hurting, Tina moved her family back to her hometown to try and gather themselves together. What she discovered was that home truly is where the heart is.

“We came back to Salem because the town does so much for people” Tina said. “We got through the summer on vouchers until I could get a job.”

With assistance for school supplies and weekly contact with people who call to check on her needs, Tina finds that she and her children are moving on.

Her eldest loves school and has taken first-place honors in local academic competitions. The younger child appears to be adjusting well to the loss of a father and is beginning the school journey in first grade with excitement and confidence.

These small steps are profound for Tina. Through her children, she realizes that the future can hold as many wonderful memories as did her past. The progress is halting and slow at times, and this season of unbridled joy can be difficult to face when she compares seasons past with her present. It is movement though, and she is proud of the accomplishment.

It is the constant reminder that she is being thought of and supported that helps soften the hurt for Tina. “I know that some day I’ll be involved with the Santa Fund as someone who donates and supports other people who have suffered a loss,” she said with new resolve in her voice. “The Santa Fund brings so much more to families than presents. It brings hope.”