BY STEPHEN BEALE

Just saying no is not enough.

Tym Rourke, the executive director of the Makin’ It Happen Coalition in Manchester, says that parents, schools, and communities have to teach their children in high school and even middle school to do more than that. “Refusal skills are great,” Rourke said. “I want to see a day where we eliminate the question.”

The phrase, “just say ‘no,’” was popularized in the war against drugs, but Rourke was speaking about a substance which can be as devastating in the lives of teens: alcohol.

Rourke was a panelist at a forum on underage drinking last week at the Goffstown High School library. His organization is using federal grant money to organize a town-by-town effort to combat underage drinking in the greater Manchester area.

Recent surveys have found that roughly a third of high school students in Manchester have had at least one drink in the past month, according to Rourke. He said the rates are similar in surrounding communities such as Bedford and Goffstown.

Bedford police recently broke up an underage drinking party with 13 teens at a room in the Quality Inn and Wayfarer Convention Center on South River Road.

Eight of the teens were from Manchester, one was from Goffstown, one from Massachusetts and the residences of the remaining three are not on record, according to police. A 23-year-old Jamaican man was arrested for supplying them with beer and other alcohol at the March 21 party.

Earlier that week, police in Portsmouth found a party with two dozen underage drinkers.

At the forum, several Goffstown High School students said they knew underage drinking was a problem among their peers.

“I’ve had lots of friends who just blew it,” said Sam St. Jean.

Much of the meeting, however, dwelled on the role of parents. Rourke said that many teens are obtaining alcohol not at liquor stores but at a friend’s house or from their parent’s liquor cabinet.

Judy Pancoast, of Goffstown, said teens won’t listen to warnings about drinking unless their parents set an example for them.

“We all don’t smoke in front of our kids and tell them it’s OK. We don’t do drugs in front of our kids and tell them not to do it and yet we tell our kids not to drink but every time we have a celebration or a gathering we have alcohol,” she said.

Wayne Golder, of Bedford, warned that no matter what parents do, some kids will always get their hands on alcohol. He and his family hardly kept alcohol in their house.

What they did keep, they locked in a liquor cabinet with chains. That didn’t stop their son, Jason, who simply took the cabinet apart and glued it back together again. His son would later die in a drunk driving accident.

Several speakers said the problem was a lack of communication, not discipline.

“I find that parents are very naive, extremely naïve,” said Al Baines, the president of Crispin’s House, a local youth organization. “They say they have open communication with their kids, but they really don’t or they think they do.”

Katie Vellieux, another Goffstown High School student, said parents need to be friends to their children. She said teens should be able to confide in their parents.

“I definitely think it’s not the parents’ fault as much as it is our choices,” she said. “Parents do need to be strong, but not too demanding because that would be too much,” said St. Jean. Among the bleaker statistics discussed at the forum was the revelation that Manchester youths who drink begin on average when they are between 11 and 12 years old, according to Rourke.

One nurse in the audience pointed out that even delaying the drinking age would make a huge difference. According to Rourke, youths who drink alcohol before they are 15 are four times more likely to become dependent on it.

Rourke said the key to solving the problem was changing the culture, because parents have only so much control over what their kids see or hear.

Several meetings are planned over the next month as part of the new regional effort. On May 13, from 3 to 5 p.m., there will be a planning meeting at the Manchester Health Department Room 162. More information is available at www.makinithappen.