BY RYAN O’CONNOR

Though foster care families often get a bad rap from popular television shows and movies, Bow resident Deb Bradley said there are hundreds of thousands of foster care parents who care very deeply for the children who live in their homes.

She should know. She’s a foster parent.

“I think what happens is your drama shows  – your “Law and Order,” your “Judging Amy,” those types of shows –  unfortunately, I think what they do is sensationalize, like anything else in this world, things that go wrong in the system,” said Bradley. “But my feeling is that children are innocent, they can’t take care of themselves and they need champions and love and affection and a safe place to live.

“Often, these children, through no fault of their own, have the sins of their parent placed on them, and a lot of times people hear about what their parents have done and assume the child is automatically at fault too and that’s so not true.”

Last year, Bradley became a foster parent, and she recently welcomed her third foster child into her home.

Bradley said she’s been interested in foster care parenting since high school, when she met a fellow student who was adopted through a foster care program.

The family has had one foster child already come and go, and two toddlers are currently living with them.

Bradley and her family began going through classes last spring and she became licensed in July. Her first placement arrived in October.

“It’s something I’ve always  wanted to do, but something we weren’t ready to do as a family until recently,” she said. “We thought it was important to wait until our kids were old enough to understand why children were coming and going and understand some of the issues that come up with children in care.”

But for at least one of Bradley’s two biological offspring, having young children around is still difficult, even though she said she understands the importance of the role her family is filling.

“It’s different because we used to be able to go here and there all the time, and now it’s different because you have to worry about, ‘can you do this with the baby’ and ‘can you do that with the baby’ and ‘can the baby sit long enough to do that?’” said Bradley’s daughter, Emily, who is 14 years old. “But most of the time, I can still pretty much do what I want, so it’s hard to explain because it’s really different in some ways and not in others.”

But for 17-year-old Matt Bradley, there hasn’t been much of a noticeable difference in lifestyle.

“For me it’s not that much of a change,” said Matt. “I kind of live in my den downstairs and I kind of have my own life.”

For Bradley’s husband, Ken, who spends much of his free time playing and coaching sports, foster parenting has been nothing but a blessing for his marriage.

“So much of what (Deb) does is child related. Since the day I met her, she’s worked child care as a job. So now, taking care of  foster children is always something she’s been interested in, so it kind of helps fill her void,” he said. “It seems to make things flow a little easier now.

“It’s hard after having 13 years without a baby in the house and now we’re back to having two, so it’s a tremendous change, but in all honesty, I don’t think it’s hurt us in the least,” Ken continued. “If anything I think it’s strengthened how we feel about each other and how we look at each other as both husband and wife and mother and father.”

The next step for her family, said Bradley is adoption, something she hopes will become a reality in the near future.

“If we become attached and the opportunity presents itself, adoption is certainly not out of the question,” she said.

Foster families, said Bradley, are usually offered first opportunity to adopt.

Still, her husband said even those interested in short-term foster parenting are needed.

“What a lot of people think about is they worry about the long-term impact and all that’s involved and they don’t think about the immediate future,” said Ken. “Sometimes single parents just need a little help to get back on the feet and get their lives back together again and then they can take care of their children the way they are suppose to – the way they want to.”

May is National Foster Care Month, and Bradley said it’s a great opportunity to promote the cause.

“There is such a need for people that can provide stability and love to these kids and because of the confidentiality restrictions a lot of people just don’t hear about all the good that goes on,” she said.

Those interested in the various types of foster care programs in the greater Concord area may call the Division of Children, Youth and Families at 271-4451.